In a decade on the market, Viagra has helped millions of men become active again in the bedroom. But its use may spark other problems that can eventually lead to divorce, some marriage counselors say.
After the first erectile-dysfunction pill was introduced to the market, it became one of the best-selling drugs in history. According to Pfizer pharmaceuticals' official website about Viagra, 25 million men have taken the medication since it was introduced.
Experts say the biggest problem is that men may take ED medication without talking with their partners, making them instant Don Juans — something for which their partner may not be prepared. Sometimes, a man's improved self esteem sends him looking for new, more eager partners.
A report published by the Harvard School of Medicine, "Sexuality in Midlife and Beyond," suggests ED medication may help resolve relationship pressure, but can bring other issues to the surface.
It points out: "When intercourse is suddenly a possibility again, relationship issues can emerge or resurface, as can dramatic differences in libido. The bottom line is that couples should try to regard these drugs as an opportunity to renew their sexual relationship, while realizing that ED drugs are neither a mandate to have intercourse nor a panacea for every problem in the bedroom."
The 48-page report was edited by Dr. Alan Altman, assistant professor at Harvard Medical School, and Suki Hanfling, a
licensed clinical social worker and certified sex therapist. The report helps readers understand how to deal with the emotional issues concerning sex, including taking ED medication. While there are millions of success stories about Viagra use, the study notes, "The medication works only if the man is feeling sexual desire for his partner."
Hanfling, founder and director of the Institute for Sexuality & Intimacy in Belmont, Mass., says, "Viagra should be a tool for a couple, not just him. Couples should work together to solve their sexual problems, but sometimes that doesn't happen."
According to Hanfling, when a man takes Viagra, his sex drive goes from a little to a lot, and that can cause problems for his wife. However, if a couple works together and the husband tells his wife beforehand, then it should enhance their marriage.
"If someone is going to take Viagra, my advice is that they talk about it with their partner before getting it. Possibly they should even go with their partner to the physician's office to find out how to best use it," she says. "A lot of men will use it and have sex, but they leave out the woman."
If a divorce results from too much action in the bedroom or because he goes out looking for someone else, she says it is unlikely the drug is the only problem in their marriage.
"There is certainly the possibility that a husband could have an affair after taking Viagra. However, as a couple gets older and they spend their lives together, an affair late in life doesn't necessarily mean the end of their marriage, but it can complicate things," Hanfling says.
