When I first met Paul, 49, a freelance marketer, and Sheila Mukalazi 35, they seemed like a normal couple in love.

They frequently complimented each other and effortlessly completed each other’s sentences. You could hardly tell that their marriage was once falling apart.

When Paul hit the big 40, his sex life became a shadow of its former self, and subsequently, he started losing interest altogether.

“I didn’t even notice this happening, my wife and I stopped being intimate, even when she tried, I wasn’t ready. It’s like I had already lived that part of my life and I wanted out, that’s when she started seeing other people,” Paul says.

After wronging each other, Paul and Sheila made up. As a way to reignite their bedroom matters, Paul took a chance and used the popular aphrodisiac Viagra.

Many men consider sexual enhancement drugs, like the famous Viagra, as a chance to enjoy a new lease of life as they perceive a lack of virility would render them ‘half’ men.

In an article in Nigeria’s Daily Times, ‘Enhancing sexual performance’, Yinka Ojo notes that sex is a very important issue of discourse within and outside marriage settings.

“It defines relationships. Several stories have been told of couples that have filed for divorce on grounds of sexual incompetency. Men appear the greatest victims as more seems to be required of them in bed after the stress and hustling that characters their daily lives,” reads part of Ojo’s article.

He also notes that besides partner’s requests, men tend to see sex as a battle to be fought and a war to be won; they want every sexual session to make a lasting memory for their partners thus need extra energy to go the extra mile.

Paul seems to concur with Ojo’s findings, admitting that even when he rejected his wife’s sexual advances, he knew their marriage was on the line if nothing changed.

“I knew that my marriage was on the line if we continued sleeping like roommates but I was afraid of telling her that I had lost that sex urge a long time ago. I didn’t want to tell her I couldn’t erect anymore. No man does that, you will literally become less of a man,” Paul says.

However, it was not easy for him to make up his mind on which enhancement drug to use. In fact, it took Sheila’s friends gossiping about his inefficiency for Paul to learn that he was not performing his conjugal rights. That’s when he learnt that his wife had found alternatives to do his job, and she was also planning to move on.

“Even when I didn’t get intimate with my wife, I still loved her. When I learnt she wanted to leave I panicked, I scheduled [a meeting] and we talked through everything. She pitied me for never telling her what I was going through and then introduced me to the drug,” Paul says.

Sexual performance-enhancement drugs were originally meant to help men suffering from erection dysfunction like Paul. It is reported that the drug was first rolled out by two British physicians who later launched and sold it in the USA as Revatio and Viagra in 1998.

However, as time went on, Viagra became famous, taking over the market as the brand name for all the other sexual enhancement drugs. It soon became a trend that sometimes a guy didn’t necessarily need to have an erection problem to consume it.

And now that Viagra’s patent will come to an end in 2020, experts say the drug will face competition from generic versions but may stay popular nevertheless. David Ssimbwa, 34, is one of many who like Viagra and not because of erectile issues like Paul had, but for pleasure and the hype surrounding the drug.

“While on a visit in the UK, I happened to land on this drug advert. They promised one hell of a night, where you would go to heaven in bed. It kept playing in my mind and how memorable it would be if I tried it and before I knew I was in a pharmacy ordering for one,” recalls Ssimbwa, who adds that he wanted to experience a wild night as Superman or [Mike] Tyson.

Downside

Paul, however, notes that he has had friends who went out for enhancement drugs because of their girlfriends’ insatiable demands.

“The nature of our job as marketers calls for exhausting movement throughout the day. That in any way, for a man in his late forties, extra effort is needed to match the woman’s always young teen spirit,” says Paul.

But Viagra also has its downside. A number of times there have been rumours of abuse of Viagra and other aphrodisiacs, says Dr Patrick Kaliika, from Abii clinic in Wandegeya.

“Little is known about the drug as far as guide lining is concerned. It’s mostly sold over the counter and in most cases, those selling expect the buyer to be knowledgeable of what they are taking,” he says.

Patricia Mugisha couldn’t agree more; she has worked in a pharmacy since 2001 and admits that even when drugs such as Viagra are delicate, little caution is put in educating those that come to buy them.

“People come, use very scientific names to mean the same drug. Most times, the girls don’t understand so they just give them,” Mugisha says, noting that her clients are mostly elites from all age groups.

Well, Paul doesn’t blame pharmacies for the cavalier way they handle Viagra but rather the conscience of the person that goes to buy the drug.

“When it comes to sex, Africans are wired in different ways; we don’t talk about such things in public; so, you can’t expect a man to come ask how the drug is used. People don’t want to be judged; so, when they are buying sexual products [like] condoms and Viagra, they fetch courage from all angles after soul searching. You can’t stop such a man to explain usage of a drug,” says Paul, who feels that one needs to know everything about the drug before one even thinks of buying it.

Over the years, things like rape and promiscuity have been blamed on the drug, although Dr Kaliika dismisses this.

“Much as I can’t advise my patient to use Viagra, I truly know that it turns a man on but it can’t disorient him to turn into a rapist,” Dr Kaliika says.

And Paul agrees with the medic, saying that he doesn’t see why he would use the drug if he’s not expecting sex in the next 30 minutes. However, even as Paul praises Viagra for all that it is, there are many side effects associated with the drug.

“Viagra once taken in overdose has no antidote, which may lead to a heart attack and eventually death,” says Dr Kaliika, adding that the drug may also cause painful prolonged erections.

Others, like Prof Dauda Mayanja of the Bamutaasa Herbal clinic in Kampala, accuse drugs like Viagra of only offering a temporary effect yet its herbal alternative gives a permanent one.

“In a situation where one person was promised sex and the party backed out, Viagra can easily turn one mad,” he says, adding: “Herbal medicine is not like that, it takes between two to three days but its effect is permanent”.

Prof Mayanja’s herbal aphrodisiac is powder extracted from various trees, roots and leaves. But the common local and herbal aphrodisiacs on Kampala streets are Omulondo and Omuboro, which are said to work their magic.

Although aphrodisiacs, like Viagra are mostly a man thing, the topic intrigues women too. Paul’s wife, Sheila, for example, talks passionately about the drug and wishes more men could embrace it.

“We appreciate that men bring the loaded polythene (akaveera) home but that’s not all that a marriage is built on. I too have my demands as a woman and sex is one of them,” says Sheila.

In the same vein, Fiona Namubiru thinks it’s time men put on their A game in bed.

“Women have done it all from sex toys, waist beads, raunchy night dresses and the men are nowhere to be seen. We put in our efforts only to be wasted by a non-starter and with such drugs, we can all have each other on board; no woman wouldn’t want a man who doesn’t stop,” says Namubiru.

Indeed, for people like Paul and Sheila, Viagra and friends have made their marriages better by boosting their sex life. Others, however, have cursed it as it has brought divorce and separation.

“In the process, Viagra has become the third party in many marriage splits, increasingly cited in celebrity divorce...” reads  a 1998 article in The Guardian.