Perhaps There's a Reason It's Called 'Men'-opause

Oct. 20, 2000 -- When Kerry Bell hit his mid 40s, life just wasn't acceptable any more. "There was this huge dissatisfaction. ... I didn't like the way my life was going. Sexually, I didn't have the 'stamina' I used to have, if you know what I mean. ... And then I realized I might have another 30 or 40 years of this," he tells WebMD. "I had to do something."

His wife Nancy remembers it well. "He became emotionally high maintenance," she tells WebMD. "He had been doing the same kind of work for a long time. He wanted to move in a different direction, but wasn't really sure how to do it. It was difficult ... he was challenging everything he thought was true about who he is."

We used to call it "midlife crisis" -- this transitional period when men run off with a young beauty, when they start buying all the toys they never had as young men, says author Jed Diamond in his newly released book, Surviving Male Menopause. Today, it's being labeled "male menopause," as research shows the hormonal and physiological changes that men -- like women -- experience as they move through the crucial midlife period.

In his book, Diamond shares insight and case studies from his 35 years as a clinical psychotherapist and director of MenAlive, a health center in northern California. He also details his personal journey through midlife, his bout with depression, and his efforts to keep his marriage intact.

"Clearly, there is the psychological part of male menopause, the feeling that time's running out, the feelings of depression, anxiety, that maybe I need to go back to my lost youth and feel more manly or sexy," Diamond tells WebMD. "These are men -- couples -- who are through with the day-to-day childrearing, so it should be a time for enjoyment. Yet, their relationships often break up because of the stresses. I want to help people understand what's going on, show them that relationships don't have to deteriorate."

In truth, male menopause is much more complex than mere psychological wear-and-tear, much more than marital woes, Diamond says. "There's also a sexual component, physical and hormonal changes, and these all interact together," he adds. "When men hit menopause, there's a multidimensional change that prepares them for the second half of their lives."

Diamond says research into male "change of life" is relatively new -- a spin-off from studies of women's menopause. "In Europe, it's been studied much longer ... as long as 40 years," he tells WebMD. Diamond is helping orchestrate an international conference, scheduled for later this month, bringing together the world's top researchers on male issues.

Male menopause is "puberty in reverse," he says. And to some degree, all men go through these changes, Diamond tells WebMD. "It's just more dramatic in some men. Some have more symptoms than others."